Beyond Opinion: Cultivating Your Inner Elephant

Dear Reader,

I recently came across a beautiful tale from a book titled “The Heart of Success” by Om Swami. Here is the anecdote:

“In Indian villages, even today, when an elephant passes through a village, all the elders gather and fold their hands in reverence. While this procession is on the move, a fascinating, though unsettling, thing happens: all the stray dogs of the village, puppies included, start following the elephant, barking and growling relentlessly.

What problem could the dogs possibly have with the elephant? It’s not as if they are a match in any way. What competition could the hounds and pooches pose to the mighty tusker?

I’m sure if someone were to ask the dogs the reason for their incessant barking, they would answer, “We have no problem with the elephant per se. It’s these people folding their hands and offering all that food to the elephant that bothers us.”

But the dogs don’t have the nerve to jump in front of the elephant or block its way. They will never come to the front and will never stop barking from the back.

And so it is the way of the world—the more people who look up to you and stand before you with gifts, the greater the number of those who will bark behind you.

The elephant, however, never stops to shoo away the dogs or tackle them. It keeps walking, indifferent to the uncouth and clownish behavior of the dogs. But what makes the elephant truly unique and masterful is not just that it doesn’t stop for the dogs. It's something more profound.

If the elephant doesn’t stop for the dogs, it doesn’t halt for the ones bowing in reverence either.”

It is indeed a powerful message: do not let pride or prejudice disturb our progress. Life is full of people who always have an opinion about us, whether we succeed or fail. Even our so-called family or loved ones have very strong opinions of who we are or how we should be. Real strength lies in remaining unmoved by others’ opinions of us, especially when those opinions are based on limited or no knowledge about us. “The path of success is littered with opinions and suggestions.”

The Elephant's Wisdom: Rising Above the Noise

Personally, I have been criticized and also praised for the same thing by different people. I realize it's always their perspective on how they look at me, rather than who I really am. Sometimes people can be hypocrites. When I was pursuing my PhD, people would say, “You have to get married at the right age and have a family; don’t procrastinate, don’t wait until you get a job!” But then, when I found the love of my life, they all insisted that I finish my degree and land a job. When I finished my doctorate, I decided to get married and take a break; again, so many said, “That’s it, your career is over! Once you settle as a homemaker, you won’t be able to work.” You know what? I was a fool to listen to all these voices in my past, which affected my personal as well as professional life.

Now I realize, the hard way, that I should not have let others’ opinions, comments, and judgments get into my heart. What do you do when the other person is a well-wisher but doesn’t have a clue about what you are going through, nor can understand even if you explain things? Just ignore them. I wish I had done that: to ignore criticism when it doesn't suit you, instead of reacting and wasting energy. Because those voices and comments didn't know I was undergoing imposter syndrome and battling myself to publish my work, especially when my so-called supervisor was always there to make me feel I wasn't good enough with every single step I took toward success!

I wish I had the superpower of an elephant to remain grounded and focused on moving forward, despite all the dramas of life. I am going to practice this from now on. I will remind myself about the elephant when I get triggered by a dog’s bark: that it is only their perspective, not my fault. Again, I will remind myself not to get too carried away when showered with praises and garlands; this too shall pass.

Thank you, elephant, for this great wisdom you have imparted to me.

Please feel free to share your thoughts here!

Let’s bloom silently! 

-P.